Sometimes we get the feeling that being likable is something people are born with. You either have it or you don’t. It turns out, though, that you can cultivate your likability.
According to Dr. Travis Bradberry of Talent Smart, when UCLA asked respondents to rate over 500 adjectives for how they relate to likability, they found that the key traits were sincerity, transparency, and the ability to understand another person.
TalentSmart did their own study of over a million people and found that people with “emotional intelligence,” or “EQ,” are not only very likable, they’re also much more likely to succeed. It also turned out they had 13 attractive habits in common.
1. They Ask Questions: Lots of questions show that you care about what someone else thinks.
2. They Put Away Their Phones: Do you enjoy it when someone glances at their phone while you’re talking?
3. They’re Genuine: Nobody likes a fake. It’s so much better to be calm, real, and comfortable in your own skin.
4. They Don’t Pass Judgment: An open mind communicates that you respect the other person enough to really value what they’re saying.
5. They Don’t Seek Attention: Being larger than life doesn’t help others relate to you. You may appear desperate.
6. They’re Consistent: An inconsistent personality makes people feel you can’t be counted on.
7. They Use Positive Body Language: People respond when your vocal tone communicates enthusiasm, your unfolded arms show openness, and you lean in slightly to show interest.
8. They Leave a Strong First Impression: People will often make up their mind within just seven seconds. Think body language. Think #10 below.
9. They Greet People By Name: People innately feel closer to someone who uses their name throughout a conversation.
10. They Smile: Since people tend to mirror each other’s behavior, why not help a person have a good time talking to you?
11. They Know When to Open Up: Oversharing, especially about negative things, is a turnoff. Listen carefully to see if there really is reason to say more.
12. They Know Who To Touch (and They Touch Them): Touching communicates caring and releases oxytocin, a neurotransmitter that engenders trust and affection. Of course, you’ve got to be aware of personal boundaries.
13. They Balance Passion and Fun: People enjoy being with others who love what they do and are passionate and excited about it.Continue reading...